


just gonna stand there and watch me burn

by harunoheiji



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Based on a Vocaloid Song, Character Study, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 Have Issues (Naruto), Dai-nana-han | Team 7 as Family (Naruto), F/F, F/M, Gen, Haruno Sakura Deserves Better, Haruno Sakura Needs a Hug, Haruno Sakura-centric, Hatake Kakashi Is Trying, Hatake Kakashi Needs a Hug, M/M, Multi, No Dialogue, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, POV Haruno Sakura, Protective Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues, Uchiha Sasuke Needs a Hug, Unreliable Narrator, Uzumaki Naruto Needs a Hug, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27371773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harunoheiji/pseuds/harunoheiji
Summary: Team 7 likes to monologue. Haruno Sakura is not an exception.orA series of ficlets from the point of view of the one everyone overlooks.
Relationships: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura & Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura & Sai, Haruno Sakura & Tsunade, Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Yamanaka Ino, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 28
Kudos: 130





	1. 12 and 17, selfish and not

**Author's Note:**

> Haruno Sakura is the most human character of all the Naruto characters. I'll prove it to you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is glad her boys are back.

Sakura is 17, bloody and bruised, fresh from war when she realizes what she wants in life. 

She realizes as she watches Sasuke-kun and Naruto weave the hand signs to lift the entirety of the world from its eternal slumber. 

They’re both missing an arm, and no matter how proficient of a medical ninja she is she can not grow back limbs that have been reduced to mere shreds. To anyone else it would have been morbid, they blew each other's arms off, yet they’re smiling and holding hands.

She watches Kakashi-sensei look like he wants to cry. A war-hardened ninja who’s killed more than he can count, the man seemed to be barely holding himself back from bawling.

She understands, somewhat. She’s shedding tears too, because, just for a moment, they’re all whole again.

Sasuke-kun and Naruto are 12 old and Kakashi-sensei is 26 instead of 17 and 31. Sasuke is with them, not half a world away trying to kill them. Kakashi is no longer running away hiding behind his ANBU mask, he trusts them with his world. Naruto is Naruto, happy, and optimistic. Deep down she knows he’s changed. He’s surrounded by dead bodies and he isn't crying. Instead he only stares.

At 12 her boys were broken, yet there was still some innocence. They’d been through hell but only the first few gates.

In that moment she feels like she is the girl in love again, who wants someone to praise her and to be the best.

At the same time, she is not. For just a second she is not in love with the Sasuke-kun that kills her slowly, she is not angry at Naruto because she hates caring about anyone that deeply. After all, Naruto matters the most to her. She is not angry at Kakashi-sensei for never looking at her, only seeing his old teammate instead.

Sakura wonders what she would see in her Infinite Tsukuyomi, her greatest dream, her perfect world.

Then she understands the world she wants, and she sobs as the boys turn to look at her, asking what’s wrong. For once she does not feel selfish, as she pulls all of them into a hug because they need it, they’ve always needed it. Haruno Sakura understands as the three try to wiggle out her iron tight grasp, that her perfect world is impossible. But she’s always been selfish, and she always wants more than she can get.

She won’t think about it though, not right now. She would rather savor this moment, where Team 7 is full and happy and family.

 _‘Just for today’_ , she thinks, _‘I want them to myself, just for today.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to write something during advisory so I decided to write a Sakura ficlet. This idea stemmed from my inner monologues at night because I'm a Sakura kinnie. More tags and characters will be added later because these are ficlets and I'm not gonna try to make y'all happy with these. This is more of a place to let myself out. Hope whoever reads this ends like liking it though!!
> 
> Please kudos, bookmark and comment!! No flames please cuz this work is supposed to be an outlet.
> 
> Follow me @homoheiji on twitter.


	2. too late to stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura tries to move on from Uchiha Sasuke. Spoiler Alert: She fails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in 2 hours and it went over the 1000 limit for a ficlet. Please ignore that.

Contrary to belief, Sakura did not like to love Uchiha Sasuke. She wasn’t stupid. She knew that loving him was wrong.

She was no longer the 12 year old who thought Sasuke-kun was the coolest person ever. She used to think her entire self-worth was wrapped around a boy who would never look her way. Yet, there she was 18 years old and still running after a man that would never love her back. Maybe his last words to her meant something.The forehead tap, the love in his eyes, she wonders if she imagined it.

In the beginning, her feelings for Sasuke-kun were never even about him. It was about Ino.

6-year-old Haruno Sakura didn’t realize that she perhaps liked Ino. She just knew that Ino was special. That Ino mattered more than anyone else. Her smile and her confidence made her beautiful. To her child self, Ino was the most beautiful flower in the world.

Yet it was apparent that Ino liked Sasuke-kun. Back then, she admitted that yes, Sasuke-kun was attractive, was good at shuriken-jutsu and brought the best lunches after Choji. Sakura thought he wasn’t that special. She wouldn’t let this tomato loving bastard steal her best friend that should want to hold **her** hand, not **_his_ **.

She doesn’t know when it went from glaring at him to staring at him. Now that she’s older she wants to slap her younger self. But at the same time she understands because Sasuke-kun was, and still is, pretty. He was like Ino, confident in himself. If he tried, he would protect her too.

Somewhere along the line, she forgot why she started looking at him in the first place. All these years later, she doesn’t know whether to blame Sasuke-kun for being so intoxicating or herself for being so weak. It was all superficial.

Academy student Haruno Sakura liked Sasuke-kun because he was handsome and smart. Jonin medic Haruno Sakura likes Sasuke-kun because he was awkward, loved too much, and his strength, his sheer will. 

She tried to move on during that 6-year gap. Tsunade-sama and Shizune-san would give her looks of pity, as she worked herself to the bone. At first, she believed that becoming stronger would make her forget about him altogether. If they were equals there was no more falling in love with his back. But no matter how much she tried, she could never catch up to Naruto and Sasuke-kun.

Just for a week, Sai and Sakura dated. Well, it wasn’t dating, but that was the simplest way to put it. They never decided to put a label on it. They never told anyone, instead they kept it to themselves.

It started as they watched Naruto consume himself in creating his wind style rasengan. They would be together holding hands, watching their teammate. They both felt something but they never knew what. They never kissed, only lingered with touches.

Now she knows that Sai is like a little brother. He doesn’t understand that much about the world and she wants to help him. She wants to guide him.

But she could have loved him. She kind of wishes she did love him. It wasn’t because he looked like Sasuke-kun. She never thought that way. Sai and Sasuke-kun were different. Sai didn’t know how to feel but he wanted to, Sasuke-kun knew and he was scared because he knew how much it hurt.

She still goes over to Sai’s little apartment and sits next to him and they hold each other. They’re just friends but a bit closer than that. It’s platonic but it’s not because they could do something but they don’t.

She knows Sai likes Ino. He doesn’t know if it's love yet, and Sakura doesn’t know either. Sai likes her for the same reasons Sakura did, her confidence, and her aura. It made him feel better, it made him feel good. Sai thinks Ino will never look his way, that he’s too dirty to be loved but Sakura knows better. Ino likes him too, not as much as Sai but a bit. They’re good for each other, at least that's what she thinks.

She won’t tell Ino that she still loves her a little bit. Ino doesn’t like girls. Sai knows, and so does Naruto.

Naruto says he always knew. She believes him, just as she always knew he loved her in a way. He doesn’t love her like that anymore. She sees the way his eyes follow Hinata, even if he doesn't realize it. There were times where she thought she could fall for him, but she never did.

She’s thankful for that. Naruto’s always been her little brother. Sakura doesn’t want to face Hinata’s wrath either. The shy girl was always scary when it came to her crush.

She’s tried a lot. Sakura doesn’t want to love Sasuke-kun anymore. Who would want to love a man who tried to kill them?

She kissed Kankuro but it didn’t work out. There was no spark between them. She doesn’t want to leave Konoha either, just as he doesn’t want to leave Suna.

She slept with Renji from T&I a couple of months ago. She still does but there’s no love. He comes for the sex and leaves. She doesn’t want him to stay either. Renji doesn’t question her as long as she doesn’t do the same back. She’s ok with that.

Most people scoff and tell her to find a man and settle down. Any man would be better than a war criminal.

At times where she feels like that, she goes to Kakashi-sensei. They sit with their feet up drinking hot chocolate in his office. He knows how it feels to love a war criminal. He’s not open about being gay. The only people who know are Gai-sensei and Sakura. Maybe Naruto and Yamato-taichou know, but they never talk about it.

Kakashi-sensei gives her soft looks and pats on the head as she cries about the Uchiha she loves. Kakashi doesn’t cry. Instead, he looks haunted. He’ll speak in vague terms about his Uchiha. He says he’s scared of the dead hearing his words.

Kakashi-sensei believes Sakura has a chance but she thinks he’s just projecting. She hopes that in his dreams, he’s happy with Obito because to her, he had more of a chance at his love than she ever will with hers.

By her bedside, she keeps the love letter from Morio she got during the war. He’s special to her, even if she knew him only for a few days. Morio was sweet, was everything little Sakura wanted. Morio reminds her to keep on going and live the life he never got to.

Sakura sometimes looks at a picture of genin Sasuke-kun and knows she can’t change what’s already happened. She loves the Sasuke of the present, the killer that hates himself for his crimes. She knows she has to move on as everyone tells her to.

She doesn’t though. Loving Uchiha Sasuke is second nature and she can't stop this late into the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very much like Sakura right now. I'm trying to move on and utterly failing at it. Sorry if some of the ships here are not your thing..
> 
> I know that Ino didn't like Sasuke at first in canon. Just a reminder that Sakura is an unreliable narrator. Don't believe everything she says.
> 
> Please kudos, bookmark and comment!! No flames please cuz this work is supposed to be an outlet.
> 
> Follow me @homoheiji on Twitter.


	3. apprentice does not sing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is silent when it comes to singing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Lyrics belong to CircusP.

She's 15, almost 16 when Sai asks her to sing. She refuses because she doesn't sing for anyone. So he keeps asking. He asks if she can write songs. She doesn’t respond.

He leans against her as she hums and asks why she doesn't belt out the lyrics she wrote. She looks back into his pale face and runs her fingers through his ink-black hair. She doesn’t say a word.

She just keeps humming.

Her parents don’t ask her to sing. They know she does not want to utter a word. They never push her. She loves that about them. As much as they nagged, they let her do what she wanted.

Her father and mother hum with her.  When she was little, her mother's sweet voice would ring through the halls as she danced on her father’s feet.

Naruto breaks down after Jiraiya’s death but she avoids him. She knows when she’s not needed. Instead, she stayed by Tsunade-sama’s side.

The older woman did not want her protege to watch her as she crumbled, but the younger did not heed her words. Racking sobs echoed throughout the room as she held the mourner. Tsunade-sama blubbers on and on, saying sorry to a man who would never hear her say that she loved him just a little bit.

She once again begins to hum. Tsunade-sama looks at her with tear-filled eyes. The apprentice does not sing.

Konoha is a barren wasteland, full of destruction. She can not help but hate Pain. She is not Naruto who forgives anyone.

She sees the pained eyes of the rest of Konoha 11 and understands what she needs to do. She brushes pink hair out of her eyes and hates everything. Most of all she hates herself. She is the one who caused this in the first place.

Sai tells her to sing for the last time. She ignores him and trudges forward. She does not think of her parents. They trust her, and she’s going to break that trust. She’ll drag Sasuke-kun down in death with her.

She looks down at the limp forms of Kiba, Lee, Akamaru, and Sai. They lay in the snow as if they were sleeping. She cries and whispers a word of sorry.

It’s probably fate that she can only sing when crying. It’s her fault for being such a crybaby. It's her fault that she can only sing about Uchiha Sasuke. So Sakura starts to sing about the boy she hates to love. 

_ I can't even look in your direction  _

_ All that I could want was your affection, oh no _

_ But I let you just tear my heart right out  _

_ You promised we would never get to now  _

_ But all that is just shards across the floor beneath us  _

_ And it's not enough  _

_ Through these rose-colored glasses  _

_ I could see no wrong  _

_ I was blind-sighted, high flying  _

_ Kept fighting on  _

_ And I ignored all the warning signs  _

_ Thinking you're the one  _

_ But these rose-colored glasses they didn't  _

_ They didn't last long  _

_ And I just can't ignore  _

_ The way you shout anymore  _

_ We're ripping at the seams with each scream  _

_ But I let you just tear my heart right out  _

_ You promised we would never get to now  _

_ But all that is just shards across the floor beneath us  _

_ And it's not enough  _

_ Through these rose-colored glasses  _

_ I could see no wrong  _

_ I was blind-sighted, high flying  _

_ Kept fighting on  _

_ And I ignored all the warning signs  _

_ Thinking you're the one  _

_ But these rose-colored glasses they didn't  _

_ They didn't last long  _

_ And I only could see you in shades of red  _

_ From a fountain of colors, you were anger instead  _

_ When I thought that I knew you, I knew you in my head  _

_ With each plate crashing down I could see true light be shed  _

_ Through these rose-colored glasses  _

_ I could see no wrong  _

_ I was blind-sighted, high flying  _

_ Kept fighting on  _

_ And I ignored all the warning signs  _

_ Thinking you're the one  _

_ But these rose-colored glasses they didn't  _

_ They didn't last long  _

_ No, they didn't last long _

She loves him too much to see him become like this. She refuses to see that little boy who smiled so sweetly ruin himself.  She can not comprehend why he turned this way. Did he go off the deep end because he had no reason to live anymore?

She still loves this murderer, this terrible, terrible man. But because she loves him, she can't let him hurt anyone. That caring boy that knew how to love but was too scared to get hurt was gone.

So she’ll kill him instead. She loves to feel blood on her hands in battle.  This time, she has no will to fight at all.

It doesn’t go the way she planned at all. She treks back to Konoha with suspicious glances cast toward her. Sasuke-kun’s red-haired teammate asks her to sing.

She doesn’t care anymore. So she sheds tears ---

_ and sings. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been trying to write this chapter for ages but it's been really hard for me. I blazed through it in less than an hour so it's probably really bad.
> 
> The song is Warning Signs by CircusP. I prefer the GUMI version but the Chris version is good too.
> 
> I really don't think I captured Sakura well this chapter... Sorry everyone I might delete this soon
> 
> kudos and comment!! follow me @homoheiji on twitter!! no flames please this is an outlet!!


	4. arigato na

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soulmate au where an important phrase your soulmate says to you is tattooed somewhere on your body
> 
> not canon to this series of ficlets just a New Years present to my other half though .. I doubt he thinks of me the same way

Everyone has a soulmate. You can’t not have a soulmate. It’s just not possible. Defies the laws of science.

Haruno Sakura is born with the words thank you on the back of her neck. Her parents say that her soulmate must be a gentleman. Her father jokes that it might be a woman. When she brings Ino home her parents realize maybe it wasn't so much of a joke after all.

She reads books where ninja meet on the battlefield, pitted against each other. Soulmates having to fight to the death. Sakura thinks it’s tragic in a romantic way. She doesn’t want a tragic romance though. She wants to marry Sasuke-kun in a pretty dress near the sea.

She’s 12 when the boy that never looks her way leaves her knocked out on a bench.

“Thank you, Sakura.”

Sasuke-kun was broken, having his entire family slaughtered by his brother in front of his very eyes. She doesn’t blame him for leaving the village. Tsunade-sama calls her naive. Sakura doesn’t care though because they're going to bring him back.

She gets stronger, for herself but mostly for him. Uchiha Sasuke consumes her spirit.

Then Sasuke-kun is on every nation’s hit list and she’s the one tasked to kill him. She convinces herself that it’s for Naruto’s sake, for Konoha’s sake. She tries to ignore the thank you on the back of her neck. Tells herself that the boy you told her those words was long gone.

She couldn’t kill him but he sure could kill her.

Time passes and she’s in a war surrounded by the dead bodies of her comrades and he drops out of the sky as she’s healing Naruto. She falls in love with him all over again because Sasuke-kun has always been her biggest weakness.

A mere few hours later he knocks her out as she confesses her love for him as she did on the bench all those years ago. He doesn’t say thank you this time.

“You’re annoying.”

It’s the last thing she hears as he plunges his hand through her chest.

Later, after Naruto and Sasuke-kun have blown each other's arms off after 70,000 of the dead were buried, there’s a hearing. Sasuke-kun gets off, fully redeemed by Naruto. He leaves Konoha the very next day on a trip for redemption. She stays behind with a tap on the forehead and a buzz on the back of her neck.

“Thank you.”

It’s not a happy ending but it’s something.

My words lie on my forearm. You only said it in passing but at that moment I knew …

“I feel like I’m losing you.”

What are your words?

Happy New Year My Soulmate. ~~(even if it’s one-sided~~ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very short thing I wrote in an hour. It's under 500 words so you know a ficlet. I had writers block all day so this is the best I could do. I don't think I accurately portrayed my feelings correctly nor sasusaku.. sorry about that happy New Years everyone!! hope 2021 will be better for all of us
> 
> kudos and comment please!! no flames, this is an outlet!
> 
> follow me @homoheiji on twitter!!


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